The Official Quirky Animations Drinking Game




Introduction:
Greetings. QA is a great site, isn't it? I'd like to think that, for the two years or so I've been involved, we've come, relatively speaking, a very short way in a very long time. One of the most popular aspects of the site has always been (for let's face it, who would actually want to play the games?) the comments bar, proudly servicing our needs for inane and meaningless commentary right there on the side of the homepage. It'll be gone, soon enough, with the rest of the site, because our lease is up at the end of February and quite frankly we can't be arsed to keep up the pretence that Quirky Animations is a serious, profit-seeking venture.

But panic not. We have options for hosting in other places, and whatever happens after the deal we're on runs out, there will always to a greater or less extent be something of QA's presence on those vast Inter-Webs; be it a flash portfolio, a forum for us all to enjoy, or a delicate and poignant "404: url not found" error message. It's certainly an exciting time.

I digress. The reason that this page exists is because I valued what we'd been able to make out of the comment box, because there really is some material that's quite special in there, if you dig deep enough, and I wanted to give it a legacy. I considered collecting the best bits and releasing them in a pdf, with commentary and other jazz like that. But that idea sucked. But just when I feared QA would never leave a lasting, positive contribution to the electronic world, I was inspired. Here is the product of that inspiration (read: boredom). Hopefully it shall change all of our lives, if not our livers, for the better. Thank you.

Requires:
Four people or more, shot glasses, a computer with access to the Inter Nets, a pen, and a large bottle of something strong.

How to Play:
The first thing you will need to do is find the 'view all comments or leave a comment' page, which is linked on the Quirky Animations homepage.

The game is played in turns. Each turn, the first person to the player's left thinks of a number between 0 and 6. The second player to the person's left thinks of a number between 0 and 9. The third person to the person's left thinks of a number between 0 and 9. These numbers are shared with the group. The numbers are then combined and added to the address bar directly after 'start=' and the page is loaded. (e.g. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=515). The comment that appears at the top of the page is read out.

These are the drinking rules based on the contents of the comment:

1. If the comment is more than two sentences long, the player has to down one shot.
2. If the comment was posted by Martyn or Dan, the player has to down one shot.
3. If the comment makes an in-joke or reference that a stranger* to our group wouldn't get, the player has to down one shot.
4. If the comment contains the word 'emo' in any place, or a differently spelled variant thereof, the player has to down two shots.
5. If the name of the person who posted the comment has more than three vowels, the player has to down two shots.
6. If the comment mentions Wales, or is about Wales, even by indirect reference, the player has to down three shots.
7. If the comment has a working hyperlink, the player chooses another player to down a shot.
8. If the comment was posted by someone outside of the Derby social group, everybody but the player has to down a shot.
9. If the comment was posted by the Social Conscience (voice of) or the Social Condescension (voice of), the player has to have the words BINGE DRINKER written across their forehead in big letters, and down a shot. This is because they are a filthy parasite leeching off of the beautiful society the rest of us have worked so hard to create.
10. If none of the above rules are applicable the player doesn't have to drink anything.
11. If more than one of the above rules are applicable the rule followed is the one that requires the most shots to be drank.
12. If a player hasn't drank anything for three of their own consecutive turns, they have to down two shots. They can choose not to do this, however, if they then go on to go another two turns of THEIR turns without having to drink (making a total of five consecutive turns), they have to drink FIVE shots. One after another.

THE OBLIGATORY QUAGMIRE RULE: A player can at any time avoid downing a single shot by performing a 'Quagmire'. To perform a Quagmire, a player must stand up, and, whilst making suggestive pelvic-thrusting motions and rocking their head backwards and forwards in time with their neck, shout 'Giggety Giggety Giggety Giggety OH!'

N.B. A successful Quagmire exempts a player from one shot only - if they had to drink three shots, this would mean they would still have two left to drink. If the group consensus is that the Quagmire was performed incorrectly, or half-heartedly, the player still has to drink all their shots.

A player can only Quagmire three times in a game.

It is then the turn of the person sitting on the right of the current player.

Examples

UPDATE: I've just realised that these have quickly become obsolete as new messages are posted to the comment bar. But you get the general idea.

Say we're sitting in a circle like this:



- It is Phil's turn. Laura chooses the number 3, Rob chooses the number 1, Laurence chooses the number 8.
- We look up http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=318
- The comment is more than two sentences long, so Phil has to drink one shot. However it also mentions Wales, and because the Wales rule involves more shots being drunk, Phil instead has to down three. Tough break, Phil!

- Now it is Mikey's turn. Phil chooses 5, Laura chooses 0, Rob chooses 3.
- We look up http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=503
- None of the rules apply, so Mikey doesn't have to drink anything.

- Now it is Tom's turn. Mikey chooses 3, Phil chooses 6, Laura chooses 7.
- We look up http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=467
- This is a post by Martyn, so Tom has to down a shot.

- Marfy. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=381
- No random stranger would have a clue what this comment was about - one shot for Martyn.

- Now it's my turn. Tom chooses 2, Phil chooses 5, Laura chooses 3.
- We look up http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=253
- No drink.

- Laurence. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=612
- Post by Dan - Laurence drinks one shot.

- Rob. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=101
- A working hyperlink. Rob chooses someone else to down a shot.

- Laura. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=090
- Post by Dan - one shot

- Phil's turn again. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=555
- EEEEEMOOOOOO! Two shots.

- Mikey's turn. http://www.quirkyanimations.co.uk/allcomments.php?start=480
- The comment is more than one sentence long, so Mikey has to drink one shot. However, it has been made by an outsider from our social group, therefore rule 8 applies. Because rule 8 involves more shots being downed, everyone has to drink a shot but Mikey.

And so on, and so on, until somebody, or everybody, passes out. Pretty neat huh? It's probably the most exclusive (and retarded) drinking game ever! Hands up everyone who can't wait to give it a try!



Anyone?





*Read: the people who actually use the site for its intended purpose.


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